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Rezidents of Fourmville, Virginia

Me.jpg (12277 bytes)

Hi there...this is my first web place and this is me... Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I have a stomach ulcer.


MyMom.jpg (6588 bytes)

This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day.

BrotherInJail.jpg (8077 bytes)

This is my other brother Hank. He is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances.

Grandmom.jpg (5831 bytes)

My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over. The flies are terrible.


MyDad.jpg (11433 bytes)

My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad. He lives in a Penitanthurry up in yankee country ........Northern, Virginny.
When he gets out in 25 to life years we are going fishing.

SisterJill.jpg (7213 bytes)

My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg beater after mom made a cake and my cuzzin Jimmy turned it on by acceedent.


BrotherBarney.jpg (6841 bytes)

We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is 27. He wants to be a Doctor in fourmville and can write his own name.

Sue.jpg (7467 bytes)

This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 15 kids and they all look different. She has a disease that makes her itch.

Jethro.jpg (8234 bytes)

Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a flea market at the tobacco warehouse. He once went 53 days without taking a bath.

This is HenryBuck. He is my 6th cuzzin 3 timez removed. He is pretty smart. HenryBuck is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth.

Larry.jpg (6327 bytes)

This is my sisters boyfriend for now. His name is Larry. He fixes lawn mowers in Fourmville. My sister says he has a hairy ass.

Michael.jpg (6708 bytes)

This is Michael. He used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus on Route 307. I still wear his underwear.

2kids.jpg (10644 bytes)

These are 2 kids we throw stuff at. There used to be 3 of them. Mom says we can't throw heavy stuff no more.

Jake.jpg (11338 bytes)

Jake holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Jake crashed alot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmit.

 UncleMarky.jpg (15276 bytes)

My uncle Bill is still having problems. He doesn't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Veitnam War hero and now sells perfume at the doller tree.

StepBrotherPhil.jpg (6785 bytes)

This is my step brother Phil. He had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged just over his right ear. It's hard to understand him sometimes and he always stinks like rotten cheese.


bert.jpg (14812 bytes)

This is my evil twin brother Bert. We were born 4 minutes apart. Bert made medical history when he fell out of my mom's ass durin birth.  I hate him.


granny.jpg (8600 bytes)

My great grandmother is lots of fun. She still chews tobacco and rides a bicycle. Grandma dates younger men with teeth.


zeke.jpg (8732 bytes)

One of my mom's old boyfriends. He has a rectal infection that makes him fart alot. I think he caused our dog Rebel to die.


molly.jpg (8954 bytes)

This is my sister Molly. Mom said she just showed up at our trailer home one day and never left. She bit the mailman. She loves to drink water from the toilet bowl.  She smokes cigarettes too. 


eddie.jpg (13566 bytes)

My cousin Eddie went to New York this summer. A piece of the Statue Of Liberty fell off and hit him in the head. Eddie now has the I.Q. of a tomato plant.


willy.jpg (9996 bytes)

We found Willy sleeping under our trailer one night. Mom is teaching him how to use toilet paper.


boomer.jpg (8983 bytes)

This is my half brother Boomer. Boomer is going to be a Fourmville Poleeseman one day. He already patrols third street and stops the bad people.


walt.jpg (9916 bytes)


Walt dates my grand mom. He grows trees onna 1/2 acre of land in buckinhum. He likes chasing grand mom through his tree patch in his underwear.


smitty.jpg (8063 bytes)

This is my 3rd cousin Smitty. Smitty works in a dog collar factory in richmond. He works 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. Every electric dog collar is tested on Smitty before they are shipped to the store.


Paul.jpg (7070 bytes)

This is my sister Molly's newest boyfriend Paul. He is running for Fourmville Town Manager. He hates kids and old people. Our neighbor Mrs. Wooten is taking him to court for spitting on her baby.

My 1st cuzzin Joonie Johnson's 1st day at kindegarten


HalfBrotherJimBob.jpg (10480 bytes)


My half brother JimBob and his wife. She is pertty i think. They raise Possum in their back yard. They are not allowed to have children.


This is my Aunt Selma-Mae, she works at the Southside hospital as a X-ray person she been dooin it along time, doc sez she can't get near the rays no more,or she'll become whut da doc calls Bear N, whatever a bear gotta do with it?? she likes pasture cheeze spread and those lil bitty crakkers.


This hear is the sport in fourmville, and my 4th cuzzin, once remuved, Rufus is showin us how to hunt for dear.


This is my step-uncle at his tattoo job before he got killed by a mad custemur.


this here is my pet dog, his name is rover.


My aunt betty doin her weekly shopping at the big walfart in fourmville


this is my step-granpa fillin his tank, he used to own a gas stashun on main st.


my 5th cuzzin louann and her husband Booboo likes to look for pretty flowers at the fourmville sewer treetment plant


this is my 3rd daddys sister ,Petunia, she has lotz of musicole talant, and plays at the roadhouse bar and grill on saturday nitez.


Aunt thelma and her new boyfrend who just got out of peedmont jail


bruther inlaw gilbert showin us his new fancy gas grill


Uncle zed takes a brake from the fun aktivitys at the "Fart on Virgina" festival that happens every year in fourmville, he can't swim too good


My new step daddies new SUV he got from davus puntiac, only 124 more paimants and its all his


 Cuzzin Jr is on a hot date


My sister-aunt-neece Charlene  and boyfrend Jeb with thier new baby


fourmville is growing, heres a new house parts place


And we got lotz of houses to live in, this is Kalloways, the rent is a lil high, but its wirth it


Our xmas tree from 1999


Uncle joe bob luvs to go fishin, he don't seem to ever ketch to much tho.......


my great uncle chuck is not good at huntin


but my momma's 4th husband darryl wuz reel good at it


my 2nd cuzzin Buck handles the family bizness cuz he can do many things at 1 time


fourmville is gettin them new hi-rise apartments almost finished, think its called suncase, er sumfin like dat


cheef of police uses 1 of them new hi-tek "hands free" sell fones on his day off


and finally my cat "bushy" before my 3rd daddy drank it to death.


So thats about all 4 now, hope you enjoyed the people and places of fourmville

ya'll come bak now, ya hear???


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